EXCLUSIVE: ONE ON ONE WITH NFL SPOKESMAN GREG AIELLO

Following the widely disputed penalty calling for Superbowl XL sunday, it was a relief to many when the NFL issued a statement through official spokesman Greg Aiello that the game had, in fact, been "properly officiated." We emailed the NFL headquarters in NYC to request an interview and, to our surprise, Greg Aiello himself called back within fifteen minutes. Following is the transcript of our talk (after I was able to find my recorder.)

SideLinish: Thanks for doing this on such short notice, Greg.

Greg Aiello: No problem. I do this all the time for alternative media. We're bullish on the web, you know. Trying to build alliances.

SL: That's great.

GA: Yes. We want to be as approachable and fan-friendly to as many people as possible.

SL: I wanted to ask you some questions about the controversy surrounding the officiating in sunday's game.

GA: Of course. The entire department went over the game film and, as our press release stated, we found it to have been properly officiated.

SL: Because -

GA: Before you get into specifics, I'd like to point out that penalties, by their nature, are subjective. One man's illegal block is another's recipe for championshiop offensive lines.

SL: Surely there are objective means of calling penalties, right? Isn't that the whole-

GA Ah, yes! Of course, Duh. I didn't mean to say every penalty is in the eye of the beholder! Only that when a game is tight, and the calls are tight, someone will always complain. These were championship teams playing. The penalties tend to be harder to quantify when you play at that level.

SL: Yes, but the illegal block call on Seattle QB Matt Hasslebeck, following his interception throw, there seems to be universal consensus that it was a bad call and yet the NFL won't even say that much.

GA: It was properly called. There really isn't anything more to say. Is there... anything else?

SL: Yeah. I want to ask a theoretical question.

GA: (laughing) I'll try my best!

SL: What would happen to the NFL, as a brand name, as a revenue generating machine, if the biggest game of its season was officially labeled a botched job by the refs?

GA: Hmmmm.... you mean if we, the league, said, "There were numerous flaws in the penalty calling phase of the game possibly resulting in one team having an unfair advantage"?

SL: Exactly!

GA: (laughing) Well, the NFL prides itself of bringing its fans a consistant product, one they can be sure is as professional and fair as any sports league in world history. So, if we were to say a game watched by hundreds of millions of dollars - I mean, people - a game like that had an outcome that was suspect? It would damage the product beyond... what I can imagine. The ramifications when you consider ad revenues, the next round of TV contract talks, collective bargaining, it would be an absolute mess. Every game would then be under extra scrutiny. Every year a losing team would... I dunno, file lawsuits saying their loss was yet another example of the hypothetical game we're talking about, where we admitted failure. Class action suits would come from season ticket holders. Gosh, it would be chaos. The product would not hold. Impurity begins at the heart and the superbowl is our heart. Poison that and the rest of the body will follow. Can you picture a world where, the day before the superbowl people are saying, "Yeah, I heard about that game but its the NFL. They're a joke ever since they admitted they blew a superbowl. Let's watch poker instead."?

SL: Not pretty.

GA: A lot of money. A lot of jobs depend on the league being beyond reproach. "Beyond" beyond reproach, if that's possible. That's the mantra of me and Tag (Paul Tagliabue, NFL commissioner): Go "beyond" beyond and that's where you'll find the NFL.

SL: So, more than likely you would instead, release a statement saying the officiating was proper and things are as they should be in this... hypothetical game we're discussing.

GA: "Nothing to see here folks" (laughs) "Move right along, citizens!" (sniggering) That's right. It would be suicide for the league to admit something like that.

SL: Okay, thanks for calling us back, Greg.

GA: My pleasure. Anytime.

I don't know about anyone out there, but that clears up a lot of things for me!

A STEELERS PARADE!

While waiting for my layover flight to Pittsburgh in the Denver airport last night, I was making notes of my observations of Supernowl XL. Things I'd ask a true fan that lived in the city (or could at least find it on a map). Lo and behold, a large woman dressed in a bright yellow Steelers sweatshirt sat next to me. She had a liter of diet cola and a tub of caramel corn from the airport gift shop and was waiting for the same flight to PA as I was. She had bags under her eyes so I know she'd been celebrating since sunday. I introduced myself and luckily, thanks to co-editor Erik's tireless trumpeting of the Steelers all season, she recognized the Sidelinish name.
"Are you Erik?" she gushed at first. I told I was the other guy and she was clearly disappointed.
"Oh, the Broncos fan," she said.
"What? That's not true." I said. "I try to stay objective."
"Hm. Crunch crunch." She eyed me with suspicion.
After I managed to convince her I wasn't a fan of the Broncos, that I had spent more time in my life rooting for the Steelers than the Seahawks, and that Erik wasn't given the Pittsburgh assignment due to a sinus infection, we began to chat. Her name was Barbara and she has been a Steelers fan since 1996, when due to her dislike for Bill Clinton, she began listening to noted Steelers booster Rush Limbaugh. "He just made them sound so daring, so gifted and so worship-worthy, I was a fan for life. I've never wavered. Even when the entire wolrd was against us, when the NFL wanted the Colts to win or the Seahawks to win, I never once thought of changing my clothes."
"That's loyal of you."
"Damn right. When you pick a team for pure reasons, you are rewarded, even if you feel like Job sometimes."
"The guy from the bible?"
"Yeah-huh. He was persecuted because no one wanted him to win, too. His team, god's team."
"I thought..." I cleared my throat, not being a biblical scholar, I decided to move on. "Anyway, do you think the refs called a good game on sunday?"
"Oh, yes. They tried to give it to the Seahawks but they were too dumb to take it and the Steelers were destined to win. We're blue collar champions and they're whiny computer nerds. We made the plays when we needed to." She twisted the cap for her cola and it squirted out from under the lid. She spent a minute licking her hand.
I asked her if she had a different favorite team prior to her Steelers conversion.
"Crunch crunch. The, um, the 49ers," she said. "And the Cowboys."
I was sensing a trend. "49ers in the 80's? The Cowboys in the early 90's?" She nodded. "And now you're flying to Pittsburgh to join in celebrating your one true favorite team?"
"Yeah huh. It's like a dream, Mister Sidelinish. Like I'm floating on a giant marshmallow - except it's yellow, you know? Like a terrible towel but I can eat it, too. Not too much or I'll fall from the sky! Ha hah! Maybe when I get there I'll find some grounded giant yellow marshmallows, huh?" She tipped the caramel corn box up and deposited the crumbs into her mouth. "Hey. Can you watch my stuff? I have to go to the bathroom," she asked. She didn't want an errant Seahawks fan junking her stuff. "No one wanted the Steelers to win, everyone was against us and they may still be out to get us loyal fans." I looked around at the concourse where seemingly everyone wore a Steelers shirt or hat and said I would guard it against any angry Seahawks fans.
As soon as she was out of sight, I carefully unzipped her luggage and found what I was looking for:

A New England Patriots jersey.

I left as soon as I could, creeped out by the woman's strange persecution complex. Later, on the plane, I found a piece of caramel corn was stuck to my ass. It wouldn't come off, either.

Maybe come September, I thought.

HEY! THE OLYMPICS START THIS WEEK!

After the least persuasive "super" bowl in modern memory, Bill Leavy, embattled head ref for the game, answered a few questions from Sidelinish via a scratchy cell phone connection.

SideLinish: Hi Bill.

Bill Leavy: Greetings from the Motor City!

SL: Still in Detroit? When do you go home?

BL: Me and the crew pulled our stipends together and got a room at the airport Holiday Inn for a few extra days and we're spending the rest of the moola partying it up Zebra style. Ed (Hochuli) flew in and carried two kegs up a flight of stairs by himself. Crazy!

SL: Sounds like a blast.

BL: It's the bomb.

SL: Oh... the... bomb.

BL: The kids say that all the time. You must not get out much. After the game, me and the boys review film and high five each other after a good call saying, "That flag was the bomb, yo!"

SL: Nice.

BL: Totally.

SL: That brings me to a sensitive question...

BL: Oh, no, you isn't!

SL:... some quarters have taken issue with the way the game was called. A few calls against the Seahawks...

BL: Hey! I didn't throw a flag to make the kicker miss. I didn't numb Jeremy Stevens hands to make his drop three passes. These Seattle fans need a reality check! Rain has got them all water-logged.

SL: So you've reviewed the game with league officials?

LOUD ROAR in the background.

BL: Holy --! Did you hear that? Felt like a DC-10 landing in my pants! We're right in the flight path at the airport, man. It'd bug me... if I was planning on sleeping! Too much rocking for that, baby! High five... someone... hey... aw, they're all playing NBA 2006 on Playstation. Ron's trying to take the Clippers to the championship!. High five them later, I guess... let me write that down.... DC-10.... in pants... OKAY! Where were we?

SL: So, Bill, has the league said anything about the game? Have you reviewed the three big calls against the Seahawks with them?

BL: Nah! We're still rocking it Zebra-style in the Motor City, baby! But, yeah, I did watch some highlights on my I-Pod Nano, a gift from Jerry Jones I wasn't able to repay - this year.

SL: And? Are you happy with the way you called the game?

Long pause.

BL: Listen, I gotta be honest here, at the risk of sounding sentimental. I love Olympic Ice Dancing. I was at the US trials last month and for the past two weeks my stomach has been twisted in anticipation. Tanith Belbin and Ben Agosto... oh my god! Those two are are absolute perfection on and off the ice and the thought of them maybe winning a gold would be the culmination of years of training and hard work. It's hard for me to think of anything else.

SL: Oh...

BL: You a fan?

SL: Um...

BL: You should be. Thank god they've redone the scoring system for it. In '02 we got totally screwed by a few of the impartial judges. They've taken it out of their hands this year, thank god.

SL: That's good.

BL: Word, brother. Nothing is worse than someone other than the athletes perfomrance determining their fate.

SL: I hear you.

BL: Oh! It looks like Ron just won another game. I'm up next. Guess which team I am on NBA 2006?

SL: Um, Spurs?

BL: No! The Klicks!

SL: You mean the.. Knicks?

BL: The... hold on.... oh, yeah, now that I look at it with my glasses on, it is the Knicks. Huh. I know what a Klick is but... a Knick? Hm...

SL: Good luck, Bill.

BL: Ice Dancing, Mister Sidelinish! You can join my fan club. I have a blog, too. I was actually jotting a few notes for it during the game on Sunday. Don't tell.

SL: I won't.

BL: You the bomb!

End of call.

That's it. Bill Leavy everyone. See you all at training camp!

What Do You Get When You Knock Off The #1 Seed In The NFL? No Respect.

Despite knocking off the team everybody had pegged to win it all, as long as they secured home-field advantage, Vegas Odds Makers still have the Steelers as 3 1/2 point underdogs going into the AFC Championship Game in Denver.

Ed Bouchette recaps the mugging The Steelers gave the Colts in Indy, and he also talks about Cowher's search for an AFC Title and his second SuperBowl berth.

HOLY CRAP! A SAVIOR ON CHRISTMAS!Rex Grossman's surly good looks and unfounded confidence have strangely hypnotized the football-talking world.

If you watched more than ten seconds of the Christmas clash between the Packers and the Bears, you probably heard either an announcer, a studio talking head, or even that annoying Old Navy lady say that Rex Grossman's performance against the mighty three-win Packers a gift sent from the heavens that will lead them deep into the playoffs. I don't mean to be a party pooper but didn't the Packers make Kyle Boller look like the Ravens savior the week before? Kyle frickin' Boller!
On Grossman: "He's a great quarterback." Huh? When? Oh... against the Packers! "His return could make the Bears super"? Like... the superbowl? You mean his return from... his seven previous starts over the past three years? Also, he might not play the full game against the Vikings this week? He's going to be rested because... he's worn out after EIGHT QUARTERS IN SIXTEEN GAMES??? (Considering his luck with playing more than three games a season, maybe he shouldn't play at all.)

Am I being a football Grinch by daring to ask what the hell a - ahem - "playoff" teams is doing "finding" its quarterback to take them deep into the playoffs... in late December? Is everyone else in the NFC that much worse than the Seahawks that ink-wasters of the NFL columnistas will grab any storyline, no matter how flimsy?

PEOPLE WOULD LOVE ME... if they knew I existed.

Tiki Barber shows fawning members of the press corp how he overcame his fumbling problem despite being criminally overlooked as an MVP candidate and invisible to everyone in the football world... except... for every fawning member of the press corps, that is.

Poor Tiki Barber. If you were watching the Giants/Chiefs game on Saturday you heard the announcers ask many many times "Why isn't Tiki Barber being mentioned for MVP?" This made us think.. hey! we've been hearing about Tiki NOT being mentioned as MVP for the past two months. After frequently being mentioned as not being mentioned, when does Tiki rate as being mentioned? He plays for New York! The center of the football writing universe. Frankly, we're kinda sick of hearing about how we never hear about the guy. So, we did a search to prove that yes, Tiki is both good and that "Overlooked for MVP" is getting old.

As a random example following Saturday's epic performance, everyone is keyed into the talking point that Barber is the most underated player in the NFL.

Last friday, he was overlooked.

Last tuesday, from New York, No love.

Last wednesday from New York, a shock as Tiki deserves MVP consideration.

Old fave Bob Glauber, of New York, mentions Tiki-as-MVP in passing last Monday. If Glauber says it in passing, you know it's in the mix as a bonafide, not overlooked notion.

In Chicago, Tiki last week was under the radar.

Jimmy Johnson said, way back when (December 2nd) that Barber was worthy of MVP consideration (scroll down).

And, from the New Jersey based man who started all this Tiki-as-sadly-overlooked-MVP nonsense, Peter King did it way back on November 2nd, when it was chic to compare Barber with LaDanian Tomlinson, whereas now it's Sean Alexander against Tiki. As long as it's someone against Tiki, Tiki isn't overlooked. Try playing in the Elba of the NFL up in Seattle if you want to be overlooked, boys.

Yes, Virginia There Is A Santa Claus ... For The Good Teams. For The Naughty Teams ... It's Satan Claus

This week looks to be the best week of the season. So much to play for ... so much to lose.

In this week's round-up:

In Pittsburgh, how healthy is Big Ben's thumb? Don't ask Cowher about it. And if you ask Ben, you'll likely get a different answer each day. Or, each hour. It it all a ruse? In the tradition of Mike Shannahan, who despises the league's policy on injury reporting, Cowher has Roethlisberger listed as "probable" in a must-win game against the Vikings this week? Probable? Did he see Maddox play in those two losses to the Jags and Ravens? Probable my ass. If Ben doesn't play the season's over. Check out the write-up in the Pittsburgh Post Gazette.

Sean Jensen of the Grand Forks Herald thinks Vikings coach Mike Tice may have done just enough to save his job. Owner Zygi Wilf says he's impressed with his team's rebound from a 2-5 start to be in a position to snatch the NFC North from the clutches of arch rival the Chicago Bears. Jensen writes: "There will be no major overhaul," Wilf said. "We have a great bunch of guys." Though he repeated that coach Mike Tice's status will not be determined until the season is completed, Wilf had high praise for the front-office and coaching staffs' ability to overcome the boat scandal, the offseason trade of Randy Moss and season-ending injuries to Pro Bowl quarterback Daunte Culpepper and Pro Bowl center Matt Birk.

After punking the Chargers and keeping the Pittsburgh Steelers in the playoff hunt (thank you!) and no playoffs in their immediate future, now it's time to speculate about the Dolphins future. And the first issue to speculate about is: Will Ricky stay, or will he go? Armando Salguero of the Miami Herald ponders ...

The Daily Sentinel wants to remind The Cowboys that every game is a playoff game for the next three weeks.

And, for the unitiated, Michael Irvin still does crack ...

The Steel Curtain Closes On A Legendary Innovator

Bud Carson, the inventor of the "Steel Curtain" Defense in Pittsburgh during the 70s, has passed away of emphysema. Considered the best defense the NFL has ever seen, The Steelers won 4 Superbowls with Carson's "Steel Curtain", led by the likes of Jack Lambert and "Mean" Joe Green.

Gerry Dulac of the Pittsburgh Post Gazette has an excellent obituary on Carson's storied career. "Bud Carson was a small man with a slight frame, not what anyone would envision as the architect of perhaps the best and toughest defense in the history of the National Football League. Bud Carson was the architect of Pittsburgh's Steel Curtain defense and later coached the Cleveland Browns.

But his ideas and schemes were grandiose, and he was larger than life among the players who were a part of the Steel Curtain defense that became the signature of the Steelers during their Super Bowl days of the 1970s."